Tears of Sadness
When we were here in January we stayed in the same apartment we are in now and Tatiana stayed with us. She did very well being away from the orphanage. The first night however, she wanted to get dressed and go back to the home. She cried very sad tears and got her clothes on. We were able to comfort her and each night after there were less tears. This time she had small tears of sadness on the first night with us after being all tucked bed. And then again last night...more quiet, sad tears. When I held her and rocked her she fell asleep quickly...... Imagine living with 15 to 20 other children in an orphanage for almost four years and then suddenly you are the "only child" with a person who speaks very few words of your language. And perhaps you are not sure why you are staying in this apartment with these other people you do not know. You were told you are going to America...is this America? Where are these boys, Caleb and Jared that Momma told you about? All day long you have fun and see new things and get more attention and love than you ever thought possible -so it is wonderful. But, at the end of the day when you lay down to close your eyes, it hits you, the stress, the fear of the unknown and the sadness for what you have lost, even though you know that the future will be good...this is how I see Tatiana experiencing her time here in Irkutsk. So sometines, when we are tucked in bed and ready to renew oursleves for another day together, tears of sadness come from her eyes and from mine.---Melanie
5 Comments:
Melanie,
I'm so happy that you and Tatiana have found each other... even with a language barrier, you see her so well. And I would guess that just as you can read the fear and confusion and sadness (and hope, too!) in her eyes, she can also see the love and reassurance in your eyes as you look at her. A love bigger than words.
Thanks for recording this experience, both for us readers and for Tatiana. I am praying for you, and can't wait to celebrate with you back in Michigan. Congratulations!
Arrived home safely and very tired. Flew an earlier flight from Chicago and arrived at 4PM but my luggage did not arrive until 7:30PM. Boys are doing very well and were very happy to see me, giving me big hugs and wanting me to sit between them on the ride home. I am saddened to hear Tatiana crying but I hope with time she will understand the loving family that she is now a part of and can develop her relationship with her family. Give her a kiss and hug from me and the boys. Say "hello" to her from the boys and I. We love you very much and pray for your safe return. -Kevin
Melanie,
What an exciting time! We are so thankful everything seems to be going so smoothly. What an answer to prays! We have truly enjoyed following this journey with you through your emails. Thank you for that. I am sure this is a difficult time for Tatiana as she goes through a roller coaster of emotions. What an awesome family she now has! We pray that the next few weeks fly by, but also that you and Tatiana may enjoy some wonderful time as mother & daughter. We are over joyed for you, Kevin, Caleb, and Jared!! A big hooray!!
Know that you are in our thoughts daily!
Wendy & David
Melanie,
Everytime I log onto your journal, I shed some tears for all of you. I can only imagine the bittersweet feelings Tatiana must feel as she is immersed a little more into her new life. It sounds as if she is doing very well with her new circumstances and the tears she does shed are probably a very healthy way for her to say goodbye to her past life. You are such a strong person, Mel, and so full of love. You are just what God ordered for your little girl. Hanna and I talk daily about our excitement in meeting Tatiana and we pray for your safe return home.
Love, Christy
Dear Kevin and Melanie, your strength, your intuition, your amazing journey into the hearts Jerad, Caleb, Anneke, and Tatiana are an inspiration to all who love you! "For I know the plans I have for you..." Susan
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