Tears of Sadness

When we were here in January we stayed in the same apartment we are in now and Tatiana stayed with us. She did very well being away from the orphanage. The first night however, she wanted to get dressed and go back to the home. She cried very sad tears and got her clothes on. We were able to comfort her and each night after there were less tears. This time she had small tears of sadness on the first night with us after being all tucked bed. And then again last night...more quiet, sad tears. When I held her and rocked her she fell asleep quickly...... Imagine living with 15 to 20 other children in an orphanage for almost four years and then suddenly you are the "only child" with a person who speaks very few words of your language. And perhaps you are not sure why you are staying in this apartment with these other people you do not know. You were told you are going to America...is this America? Where are these boys, Caleb and Jared that Momma told you about? All day long you have fun and see new things and get more attention and love than you ever thought possible -so it is wonderful. But, at the end of the day when you lay down to close your eyes, it hits you, the stress, the fear of the unknown and the sadness for what you have lost, even though you know that the future will be good...this is how I see Tatiana experiencing her time here in Irkutsk. So sometines, when we are tucked in bed and ready to renew oursleves for another day together, tears of sadness come from her eyes and from mine.---Melanie